I had my first lengthy experience in a real bar finally! Last time I went out it was a bar and grill. This time I went to a tiny dive that made me cringe and I opted not to use the restrooms but rather hold it until I went to the next bar. That's right I was bar hopping! I always wanted to do that and now that I have ehhh not so great. But it was fun I guess. Great break from the kids!

So first off I went to the dive like place. It was like 7pm. I had to start early so I could be home before 1 because of the kids. Can't leave them alone that long... JUST KIDDING! The babysitter was only available until 1. So anyways 7pm having a beer and I realise it is all old people. Like really old people. Older than BryM old people! hehe Finally about 8 a few younger ones came in. And guess what some young stud... okay making that up he was so so... bought me a tequilla shot! Woot. I like tequilla a lot apparantly. Anyway a little bit later a buddy of J's came in. He convinces me to go to the other bar with them and I did. It was a bit slower but that made locating the cutest guy possible easier! Okay sidenote... The greatest thing about being a girl is I had 6 or 7 beers ( I lost count), a shot of tequilla, and a long island iced tea all for $3.50. That's right. I only bought myself two beers the rest was bought for me! How awesome is cleavage!!!!!!
Okay so anyways hanging out at the second bar and guess who decided to go out for the first time in years. J. It was fun because an old buddy of his was putting his arm around me and stuff and J ended up approaching him and making some comment that I didn't get to here! :( pooey... I am sure it was sarcastic though. But the highlight of the night was Jerry getting drunk (amazingly I stayed pretty with it after all those drinks) and doing karaoke. After hanging all over me all night and watching my every move he gets up on stage and sings his heart out. First song, Desperately by George Strait. Second song, I'd Still Love To Lay Ya Down by Conway Twitty (he used to sing this song to me on the phone and in bed sometimes it was like our song). Third Song Heaven Can't Be Found. AWWWW I started sensing a theme in the songs. And i was right. So then the last hour became uncomfortable with us forbidding him from going back up to the mike. It was kinda sweet before. I have had a guy dance naked to amuse me. I have had two guys fight over me in a bank parking lot. I have had a guy tattoo my name on his back, first and middle name at that! That was the first time one has ever made a complete idiot of himself for me. Too bad the history behind us just repeats in my mind and says DONT DO IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!! You will end up knocked up again! LOL
Anyways I am so excited that Halloween is coming up. We got some really gross candy. Crunchy Tarantulas with chocolate marshmallow guts. Blood bags which look like a medical blood bag with fruity liquid inside. Chili finger bowls which has a sour liquid filled with gummy chunks for the chili effect complete with severed gummi fingers for dipping. Spider sacs which is a little plastic spider that has a strawberry filled sac attacked that also has white chocolate candy to serve as spider eggs. And cotton candy cobwebs! How awesome is all that??? My daughters costume came to although it sucks I am going to have to make some adjustments to it. She is going to be a cute scarecrow and bub is going to be a monkey with a banana peel on his head. Jerry thought that making the kids zombies was just too morbid. He is no fun.
In other news guess who is back! Joe Shmoe! Even though he was pretty tiffed at me he just couldn't stay away! I am supposed to call him tonight but I dont think I have the time.
Life is calling! Hopefully I remember to write more futurely! Even though my life is pretty boring!

Well! Not much has been going on other than I got together with my "friend" well almost ex friend now Joe! I guess I was being semi flirty with some creeps who I would never in a million years consider but I wanted to make Joe jealous because I am a woman and don't really have a rational reason for that. I just know it will work and can be kinda fun. So anyways this weirdo creep keeps going on about his 10 incher and I acted a little slutty. Well much to my surprise Joe seemed to be ignoring it. Hmmm... So I start telling him how amazing it was that the guy was so huge (although personally I don't like big ones). I was once again just aiming for a reaction because I am a woman. And a tease. Finally he goes... or rather snaps... "Look I don't want to hear about some guys shlong. If you want to be a super whore go be one." So my mature and timely response was of course "F@ck You". He goes "okay when". I laughed and asked him where his prude personailty went and he said... (okay brace for this) "I wouldn't f@ck a fatty though." WHAT? Oh no he didn't. First off I am only like 15 lbs from my idea weight. Not my maximum healthy weight but my IDEA weight. Second off I just had a kid and broken back... it's gonna take me a bit to get back down and I won't ever be 102 again (the way he likes me but screw that). So I did what any female would do. I walked away. Walked outside and went to walk home. Well I heard him coming up behind me so I start sniffling. Trust me when I say I am far from crying and I am actually rather amused by the incident but being a woman I have to use the best of my abilities. He was like "OMG don't cry. I am so sorry. I don't think you are fat. I was just offended by what you said and wanted to make you hurt too. Please forgive me." I kept on "sniffling" and said I needed to go home I was tired. So after I get home he of course calls. Rambles more of an apology. Say's he don't want to go back down to Philly with me mad at him. So I said I am not mad, just hurt (still "sniffling"). So I tell him I am going ot bed but instead log onto my computer to gush to Amanda about the audacity he has. Well he was logged on too and messaged me about what was I doing up still? I lied of course. Said I just didn't want to talk on the phone because I was crying so hard and the whole time I am laughing with Jerry sitting right there laughing and shaking his head probably thankful that he broke up with my manipulative ass! In the end Joe has called, messaged every chance he has had, even in between classes to try to make it up to. I of course pulled the "you know how much my weight is an issue to me and you used it against me how can i ever trust you again" card. But in the end he is forgiven although even Jerry agrees that for a man to say that takes some serious balls! Moral of the story... men don't trust women. I didn't even mean to be dramatic or exagerate my feelings. It just happened and sadly and probably sickly I had fun watching him grovel to get back on my good side. Women for the most part are too damn manipulative!!! And that is the reason why I will not get in a relationship anytime soon. I don't want to seriously fall for someone and pull that. Given it was funny as hell but I guess it was really wrong too! Wonder what Joe would say if I let him in on the joke? IN MY DEFENSE THOUGH... He called me FAT! So he had whatever coming!
Really nothing else is going on! That blonde b^%ch who was always mean to me, Jerry's friends wife, got pretty big! And her boobs are saggin! I shouldn't be happy about that since I will undoubtably age too but it just feels good after the way she was always stuck up and standoffish to me before! Not to mention the things she said about me! Or the time she shamelessly was all over Jerry when we were together. I am soo mean huh?

But I am getting a life again! My back still has it's bad days and the numbness gets scary but I am getting physical again. I was even able to jog around the park yesterday without feeling 10 types of pain! Course having said that I am about to raid the ibprofin bottle again! I feel old. It's not fair!!!
I never went out with that guy. We played the how about this date, no that wont work, how about this one, game for a while. I recieved a message from him this morning letting me know as soon as he gets all his furniture and stuff moved he wants to make this happen. But he is also working over 40 hours a week and I am dealing with two kids and lack of sitters. So unless a miracle happens our schedules arn't ever going to mesh.
Me and Jerry got into a hell of a fight. I won. And when I got up the next day my kitchen was cleaned. Then next thing I know here he comes down the stairs. He stayed home from work!!! Anybody who knows this man knows that he doesn't pass up an oppurtunity to make a buck unless he is vomiting every five minutes. But turns out I made my point well that I needed a break from the kiddos. And him pulling two doubleshifts over the weekend just because he is a greedy bastard and wants a big screen hd or lcd or whatever the hell it is just wasn't fair. So he stayed home yesterday. I left him with bubba and took Sue to the park all day. He went to the store later that night and came home with a bottle of champagne! I drank it ALONE and went to bed ALONE. I ain't falling for that again!
So theres never anything really new or exciting in my life. Same old stuff just in a little different context. Really nothing to write about when you think about it.
I think I am going to start making stuff up just so it sounds better. Hmm.. last night me and this midget girlfriend of mine went to vegas where I married an elvis impersonating preacher. I always wanted to marry a preacher. To seduce a man of God. Yes I am going to hell. Oh but wont it be worth it! Okay that's enough stupid stuff for a lifetime. Think I might need to shut the old blog down now that I am able to NOT sit on my butt all day!!!!

I have been asked out for Thursday by someone I kinda like. At first I thought he was blowing me off because he didn't answer the myspace messages I sent him. But come to find out he has been busy moving into his new house. Really responsible level headed guy just a bit moody. We always had fun hanging out together after work. But I sent a message trying to renogotiate it to a Friday or Saturday night. Honestly I think I am going to avoid it this week all together. I am actually scared of dating again. I havn't had a date in over 6 years I think. Me and J kinda hit the ground runnin and burnt out fast. Very fast. So hopefully I can get over whatever it is I am afraid of. I mean me and him used to hang out like every other night so it really shouldn't be different! Guess we will see what happens.

Gregs holding steady which sounded good but now they are saying it's not. That he should have had more progress by now. I think my aunt is gonna hold out a while longer though.

I have been talking to my old friend from school. It amazes me where she is at right now. I thought I was doing pathetic. She had way more oppurtunities than me. Way more money. Even inherited a healthy sum shortly before highschool grad and now she is living at home with her dad, self admittedly smoking pot every day. She got married right out of hs and is seperated and dating a mutual friend from back then. It's insane she had the chance to go to college and blew it off, scholarship and all.

I called Joe a spoiled lazy brat. We had an argument last night because of it and I kinda just let it go figured we wouldn't be talking for a long while. He called me at like 12:30am and said he just couldn't break the ritual of talking to me before he goes to sleep. Awwww. I wish we had something, anything in common. Well we are both allergic to penicillin... But we talked again this morning too. So guess he is over it. Schools starting up again soon though and he wont be around. Back to Philly. And back to drunken college girls. He is so cute the way he pretends to be all moral and Godly around me. I seen the pics that prove otherwise!
He ain't foolin no one. But it also caused me to ask him why he hadn't made a move or acted up around me and he said "because I respect you. I don't want you thinking of me like that". Makes me wonder who he really is and if he is being fake though. Guys... they are so simple but so confusing. At least to me!

Me and Ian are fighting too! I managed to alienate everyone in one day!!! I don't even know whats wrong there but he ended our talk quick and blew me off the second time around. I used to be over the moon for him and then I started seeing how sickening our pattern was. IF he could make up his damn mind I might want to try it just because we have that five year history of being really good friends and he was my on again when Jerry was my off again. Deep down I think I am done with it though.

I had the sweetest dream last night! Okay. Fair warning I am weird. It was sweet in the end although it started out messed up.

Okay I was on my porch and the phone rang and I answered and some guy starts talking to me like he knows me so I go along with it hoping to figure out who it is soon. Well next thing I know he is saying really filthy and perverted things. And I was like who is this? Don't call again. Well he keeps telling me all these semi violent things he wants to do with me (maybe a flash of ians sadistic behaviour?). And then he said if you don't I'll just have to kill your family. So I hung up cause it's obviously a weirdo. But then I was sitting in my livingroom and someone starts trying to come through the door so I lock it real quick. But he unlocks it somehow and because of the threats he made against my family I just go along with him (some fight I put up huh). By the way this guy sorta looks like my exfiance Joe L. who I miss a bit. So anyways he takes me to this service looking van and ties me to the seat with rope and tells me to act natural. And we are driving along and the whole time he is telling me all the ways I am going to behave and stuff. And he goes I need to swing by work your going to sit here and be good. No screaming. And for some reason I do. Well I realise his work is a doctors office. He comes out and were driving through what looks like Florence, Ky to me. Erlanger maybe. And we go to his place. Well he ends up saying that's it that he can't and next thing I know we are back in the van heading back to my place to drop me off. Talking. ANd he turned out to be like a total sweetie who was a doctor and rich. And we fell in love. What a dream huh? Maybe its my way of saying I need a sweet, stable man with an adventuriously kinky side? Amanda enjoyed it. Course I gave her more details I would be too ashamed to say on here!